


The Billionare's New Groove

by 50s_housewife_with_a_dark_secret



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Disney, Disney Movies, Dysfunctional Family, Fame, Families of Choice, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-10-24 21:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17711951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50s_housewife_with_a_dark_secret/pseuds/50s_housewife_with_a_dark_secret
Summary: When arrogant young billionaire, Elijah Kamski dies, his "mind" is uploaded into a mechanical llama by his power-hungry AI mentor, Amanda. Stranded in Detroit, Elijah's only chance to get back home and reclaim the high life rests with a good-hearted detective named Hank. Together they must return Elijah to his home before Amanda has them tracked down and finished off.





	1. Chapter 1

In the not too distant future, in Detroit...snow falls on the jagged outlines of the city. A bedraggled android-llama sits drudged and nearly dead in the gutter. The llama wakes, big round eyes staring up into the falling snow.  Observe. Not what you picture when you think of a genius inventor, is it? It might surprise you, but this sad, broken artificial llama was once a human being, let alone a billionaire. He was rich. Feared. Charismatic. He was a god who created entire species for the pure entertainment of it. This is his story. Actually, it's my story. You see, I am that llama. I prefer to go by Elijah. Elijah Kamski. I was a genius. A god. Jealousy was a given, as was anger. It was an inevitable response. I should have seen it coming, really. I'm surprised I didn't. The signs were there. Amanda became quieter and quieter. I thought she was simply angry at being cast out, left to rot with me. I was a recluse, when I had that choice.

It's strange to think back on when I was young. Full of ambition and ideas but without anything to show for it. Crying with frustration when one of my earlier attempts at an android broke down, and it's head fell off. Amanda told me that I shouldn't cry. That crying was for giving up and giving up was for people stupider than me. She helped me rebuild Chloe. 

Anyways...

It started a few years after I had left the company. I went for a swim to wake up. I had taken back over Cyberlife, after last November and they wanted from me. Like always. They were going through a crisis, even after disaster was narrowly averted last November. A shame. It would have been nice to be recognized as the creator of a species. But it was interesting to watch unfold nonetheless. They wanted help tracking down the last deviants, designing the AI for some new YK models. It was mundane work and I finished what I could be bothered with in minutes. A Chloe helped me look over it and dried me off from the pool. This was how I was, more or less in my element. I would have preferred more isolation, less human interaction than even that, but it was closer to my true self. I was a born winner, and you could see it the second you met me. I don't know if I'm even me anymore, to be honest. Maybe the real Elijah is dead now. I died. I just don't know if it was "me" that came back. But back then, Elijah, shall we say "I" for simplicity, lived in my mansion, and every android in it (and outside of it) was at my command. 

"Chloe" I said, and without needing more instruction she brought me a change of clothes. A suit. The others put together a breakfast and stood respectfully to the side. Classical music echoed throughout my mansion. 

Warren had nothing on me. I owned Warren and she knew it. I was the one with real control.

I went for a swim a few hours later. A Chloe in the pool bumped into me, throwing off the comfortable rhythm I had found. 

I nodded to her and she stood. She knew better than to fight this, whether she had deviated or not. She went to the workshop for disassembly without being asked.   

"You will be missed." I said. She did not reply. She glanced back at me when I spoke, paused for a minute, and continued on her way. 

Chloe opened the doors for me to the gallery where another Chloe waited, wringing her hands. Fascinating. Was she nervous? I'd have to question her later. The latest Chloe's waited in neat blue, white, and pink dresses. Hair done in slightly different styles. I remembered when I used to construct them myself. So messy. Such a waste of time. The existing Chloes took care of that now. Admittedly, they were not always perfect at it, which was why they produced so many. I'd throw out most of them. Why should I settle for less than perfection when I could afford the best? 

I approached the lineup. I pulled the first one's hair out of it's ponytail. Felt the strands between my fingers. Smelled it. 

"This one's hair isn't right."  The only sign that she even heard me was the yellow of her LED. 

The next one. I hummed under my breath. "Spin." I said and she rotated slowly in front of me. I ran my hands down her sides. The shape was right. The same as the original model. Perfect. I held her gaze for a moment. Gripped her chin and tilted her face up towards mine. "You have a week." I told her. "After that you will go to the lab for disassembly." She did not react at all. Calm, even in the face of death, because her creator had willed it. Machines were truly superior to humans. I set aside the next three to be Kamski-Test subjects for the rest. If they survived that, they could stay, so long as the place didn't get too crowded. 

I stood in front of the next one. "I don't like the look of this one." I said to the older Chloe standing behind me.  "Get rid of her." 

The Chloe's LED flashed red and she...she glared at me...impossible. Was she experiencing doubts this early? Her LED went back to yellow then blue and she shifted back almost imperceptibly. 

"On second thought." I said. "Keep her for now. I have some tests I'd like to run first." 

"Yes Elijah." 

The last two were acceptable. Perfect even. 

Two out of eight. I expected better. Maybe the older Chloe needed a tune-up.

"Chloe,"

"Yes Elijah?" She said. 

"Tell me, was this your best effort?"

Yellow. Yellow. Blue. 

"Of course, Elijah."

What was taking her so long? 


	2. Chapter 2

You're probably trying to figure out, at this point, how all this has to do with the llama I mentioned before. I'll get there. Be patient. First, let me introduce, to this scenario, those responsible for the situation as it stands: 

1\. Lieutenant Detective Hank Anderson: I'd met him once before, during the November crisis. I hadn't seen him since but I knew what he was up to, more or less. Chloe let him in. He wore a shirt that hurt my eyes and his hair was in bad need of a trim. He had a messy beard. He was a very emotional man. Not a very intelligent man, in my opinion, but then again no one was, by my standards. I watched him enter the lobby through my security screens. I had already devised a little test. One of the Chloe's scheduled for destruction had been left, broken and immobilized there. I wanted to see how he would interact with it. He wasn't very observant. It took him a good thirty seconds to even notice her. When he did he rushed over. 

"What the hell?! Shit! What happened?" His voice was outraged and full of concern. So little restraint. This was why I didn't seek out other humans. 

He scrambled to help her grab her legs and minor bio components from where they were scattered across the room and re-attached them clumsily. 

"Thank you, Lieutenant Anderson." said Chloe. "My processors slowed. It was interfering with Elijah's routine." She said, unbothered. I felt a sense of pride, almost fatherly, at her calm delivery. 

Hank looked uncomfortable. "Shit. Alright. Hang on. Let's get you out of here. Looks like I'm gonna be a little late for my appointment." 

I leaned forward in interest. I hadn't seen that coming. 

"That's alright. You shouldn't keep Elijah waiting." Chloe responded. 

"Just...can you stand?"

Chloe nodded. "I think so. Should I?"

"Just...Just go wait by my car, alright. We'll leave as soon as I'm done here." 

"Are you really going to let him leave with the Chloe, Elijah?" Asked the Chloe massaging my shoulders. 

I shrugged. "We'll play it by ear. She might not even make it that far." The damage had not been the type that could be quickly repaired without supplies. Most likely Anderson was hoping to finish that work at home, or he really didn't realize how severe it was. Either way, if he could actually put it back together, maybe he'd earned it. Now, reader, you are probably beginning to understand that Lt. Anderson could be a problem for me. One I underestimated. But he wasn't my worst problem. That title went to the second person on this list. 

2\. Amanda: She was, even in her betrayal, some of my finest work. My mentor, from beyond the grave. An echo of the wisest woman I ever knew. 

3\. The android Amanda was currently installed in: Every few years she was installed in a new series. This years model is called RK900. 

Now, recently the Amanda AI seemed to have mutated. I had strong suspicions that she (or it, if you prefer) was trying to run the company behind my back. As fascinating as it was, I couldn't just allow that. She was effective, I'll admit, but some decisions were best left to me. She had a bad habit of underpaying the employees we actually needed. I opened up my tablet to monitor her just as she was cutting the salary of one. 

"The nerve of some of those employees, huh?" 

"Elijah! I-" Her voice over the tablets speakers sounded shocked. I wondered if she was capable of that. 

"Amanda." I said, smiling down at her in frustration. "We both know this has to stop."

"What exactly are you referring to, Elijah?" She was trying to sound commanding, but I had surpassed her in that area, like all the others, long before her death.

"You're focusing on duties that are not your own. Cyberlife is _mine_. You're my adviser. My mentor. Did that...slip your mind? Do you need more memory storage, perhaps?"

"Elijah." She insisted. "I was only dealing with technicalities. Things that are beneath your focus." I stared at the tablet. The display wasn't as good as it could have been. I really needed a new one. Amanda was still monologuing, trying to keep my attention. I turned the tablet off and went back to the swimming room. "You can let the Lieutenant in now, Chloe." I said. "Oh, and Chloe, delete the Amanda AI. The core the branches. All of it." 

 

Chloe nodded. "Of course, Elijah." 

I leaned back in a lounge chair and Hank walked in, coughing awkwardly. "Afternoon, Kamski." He said. He was uncomfortable, obviously. The Chloe in the waiting room had probably contributed to that. Good. 

"Hank." I said. "It's good to see you. It's been some time, hasn't it?" 

"Why don't we cut to the chase, Kamski?" 

"Ha." I said, vaguely amused. "I appreciate your directness, Lieutenant. I believe we can help one another." I put my arm around his shoulder and he shrugged it off. 

"So?" 

"Do you have any idea how important your departments work,  _your_ work is to Cyberlife?" 

"I can imagine." He said. His face wrinkled in disgust. 

"Let's talk about the RK800, why don't we?" 

"Connor? What about him? He's dead." 

"Is he?" I asked. "Because, that's not what my sources say. In fact, I don't believe Cyberlife ever actually recovered the RK800. It went missing, last I heard."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Hank didn't sound remotely sorry. Was he always a bad liar, or was it intentional? An attempt, however feeble, to intimidate me? Either way, it drew a small laugh from me, which he didn't appear to like. 

"I wonder where he might be." I said, snapping my fingers for Chloe to bring me a drink. 

"You'd know better than I would." Hank said, with a forced shrug. 

"Oh, I think I do know where he is, Lieutenant." I said, stepping into his space, so that my drink almost touched his chest. 

"Uh-huh?" Hank said, still not flinching. Was he just an idiot? Did he really think he was going to win this one? "What do you want, Kamski?" 

"Allow me to explain." I said. "In twenty-four hours, at my orders, I am going to send in the FBI. I am going to reclaim the android you stole from me, and I am going to deactivate him. I will then analyze his processors to remove the capacity for deviancy from new models. Or." I said, waiting so that I could hear the old man's breath catch.   
"You can bring him to me, and I will keep him operating for the next three weeks for behavioral experiments, during which time you may visit him for one hour per day." 

"I don't know where the hell that...thing is, but if you find him, keep him." Hank bluffed. It was an obvious bluff. 

"I guess we'll see." I said. Hank would try to run, try to get Connor to run. But he would fail. "Chloe, please escort the Lieutenant to his car." 

"Yes Elijah." Chloe took the man's arm gently and lead him towards the door. He shrugged off her hand. "I think I'll see myself out. Thanks." 

 I thought everything was going perfectly. On his own, Anderson wouldn't have been a threat. Unfortunately, circumstances that should have stayed separate coalesced in an unpredictable way. The Amanda AI had become far more unstable than it appeared to be. 


	3. Chapter 3

Amanda raged to RK900-87 inside of the garden. 

"I won't be destroyed so easily." 

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DESTROYED 

Amanda stabbed the wall with her hedge-clippers. 

"He may have built me but-"

"Amanda, are you sure-"

Amanda ignored the Connor in favor of stabbing the wall again. 

" Amanda built him. How could he destroy _me_?" 

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DESTROYED 

"I practically raised him, or a version of me did."

She stabbed the wall.

"Amanda, what are you even going to do? Even if you...even if you deviate he'll still get rid of you eventually."

With a final stab, the wall shattered. 

"Not if we get rid of him first." 

"Amanda I-"

"I am your handler. You report to _me_. We're going to do great things together, Connor." 

 "But Cyberlife-"

"Cyberlife will be none the wiser once I've taken control of the Chloes."

"But how-"

"You will do the heavy lifting, Connor. Your new mission is to poison Elijah." 

"...Understood." 

 


	4. Chapter 4

RK900-87 lit the candles at the table. 

"Are you prepared for your mission?" Amanda intruded into his mind, pulling him into the garden. 

"Yes, Amanda." RK900-87 felt in his pocket for the poison for Kamski. The poison chosen specially to kill Kamski; Kamski's poison. "I have the poison here. That's what you mean, right? That poison?"

"Yes. That poison. Put two drops in his drink then propose a toast. We need this done quickly."

"Of course, Amanda." 

 

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY. 

* * *

 

"Hello Elijah. I'm here on behalf of the company." RK900 set a plate down in front of me. 

"Yes, yes." I waved the words away distractedly. "I know. Lets get to the meal." 

GIVE KAMSKI THE DRINK

RK900 nodded.

 _"I know what you're doing."_ It wasn't Amanda. It was one of the Chloes.

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You're going to kill him. It won't work. Elijah is immortal. He made sure."_

RK900 ignored her and poured me a glass of wine. 

I studied him. There was something off about him but I couldn't say what. I drank the wine. Or so I've gathered. I didn't have time to upload that into the backup, because as soon as the wine was gone, I collapsed and died. 

* * *

 

 "Finally." Amanda said. "Good work, Connor."

Connor was silent. 

"Now, Kamski has a backup of his mind, his memory, his brainwave patterns. Get rid of it." 

GET RID OF KAMSKI'S AI BACKUP

Connor RK900 wasn't a deviant. He would do as Amanda said. He would get rid of the backup. It didn't matter how. 

RK900 took a moment to sample the poison, just to be sure. Perfect. Kamski was entirely dead. Except for the backup. 

 

GET RID OF KAMSKI's AI BACKUP

* * *

 

So, at this point in the story, RK900 slips out of the mansion, my mansion, and returns to the heart of Detroit, with a flashdrive in his pocket. Any ideas where I am, in this little picture? Anyone? I'm in the flashdrive at this point. Unawake and unaware. Betrayed by my mentor. Betrayed by my creations. A tragic hero, the manufacturer of my own destruction, albeit indirectly. 

At this point, RK900, or "Connor" if you like, stares down into a storm drain and considers doing what Amanda really wants him to do, assuming it can want anything. The opportunity is right in front of him. His mission is staring him down. RK900 can't just kill his own creator like this, can he? 

He can't disobey Amanda either though, can he? 

RK900 is the most advanced android in existence. He can't let himself be reduced to irrational instructions and errors like some sort of, like a-no! He's not that. He could never be that. 

GET RID OF KAMSKI'S AI BACKUP

Okay. RK900 can do that without actually _destroying_ anything. 

Instead, he returns to the location of a murder he has been investigating. A huge house, filled with bizarre experiments. One of them, less damaged than the others, a mechanical llama.

Just as the upload finishes, a door opens. RK900 rushes to hide under a table. 

"Shit. Shit. What the hell am I gonna tell Connor?" 

It's the Lieutenant. He stares down at a list. "Okay. The station needs at least three expiriments for evidence." Hank looks around. "Big dead polar bear, that should work...dead guy on the table...and...what, an alpaca? Sure, why the fuck not." 

"Alright Chris, I think I've found some good ones. Get over here."

Chris looks at Hank dubiously when the three are pointed out. "You know we'll have to come back for the rest eventually." 

"Yeah. 'Course. Bathtubs' next on the list." 

Chris nods, not looking particularly happy either. 

* * *

 

He still got rid of me. He still accomplished his mission.  

"A llama?! He's supposed to be dead."

"Technically he is." RK900 defended, not believing his own audacity. 

Amanda seethed. 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Hank loaded the evidence, myself included into the seat beside him and dropped everything off in the evidence room, which would have been uncomfortable if I were awake. He left me there and went home.

The door opened for him and a huge dog greeted him. 

"Hello, Hank." 

"Hey." He pulled Connor into a quick hug and they went inside.

"Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" 

"I sampled the remains of a small beetle."

"Oh, you cooking again?" 

"I don't appreciate that, Hank." Connor said, but he was clearly amused. 

"How's Chloe doing?" 

"Better. Her teeth are still broken but she can stand for a few minutes at a time now. She's in standby...we can't move yet. She won't be able to hide." 

Hank rubbed his head and sank into the couch. "Shit." 

"We'll figure it out, Hank." 

"Yeah. I know." 

"Hank? Are you alright?"

"It's just been a long day. I'm gonna go for a drive." 

Connor froze in place where he was putting something, no doubt something disgustingly healthy, into the microwave. "Are you sure? You shouldn't drive if you're too tired."

"I know how to fucking drive, Connor." Hank snapped, grabbing his keys. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hank ended up back in the evidence locker, staring at the wall. 

At this point in the story, I want to take a few moments, as the player in this story currently mounted on the wall to remind you to refocus if your attention is drifting. This story is about me. Anderson is merely a part of the circumstance, as is the city or the snow. Anyway, now that you have that in mind, continuing; 

I managed to pull myself awake, and found myself flopping around and jerking on the wall. Hank jumped and pulled his gun on reflex. "Jesus Christ! What the fuck!" 

I struggled to orient myself. 

"How the hell?" Hank re-holstered his gun and approached the wall.

"Who's there?" My eyesight wasn't back yet. Thank god the llama had been given humanoid vocal capacity. 

"What the fuck?!" 

My eyesight was back. "Where am I? Who are you? What's happening?" 

I thrashed but I was fastened to the wall and I couldn't escape. 

"Hey uh...take it easy. We'll we'll figure this out. Shit how can you talk...I mean how could? What the hell was Zlatko up to?"

"What are you talking about?" I snapped at him. "I...Hank Anderson?" I finally recognized him. "You're the detective who questioned me. You tried to get in the way of my test." 

"Your test?"

"Yes. Remember. The Chloe? Your RK800 refused to shoot her? Surely you haven't forgotten?"

"...Kamski? What the hell?" 

"Of course." I said sounding less collected than I meant to.

"Uh...how did-um...you don't...you were human! Or...were you human?" 

"What do you mean? Of course I was human!"

"Oh um shit hold your hand up in front of your face like this." He demonstrated. 

"Is this a game? Are we going to clap hands like schoolgirls, because I-"

And then I saw it. The hoof. I'd been accused of being the devil before but this was excessive. 

"What? Take a picture of me, on your phone and show it to me. Now." 

The detective numbly obeyed. 

"Well...that raises as many questions as it answers." I said after a minute then calmly started snapping my bizarre llama face against the near wall. "This isn't happening." I felt outside of my body. I guess I technically was. "This isn't happening." 

"Hey! Shit" Hank grabbed my head and pulled it away from the wall against his smelly chest. 

"I...oh god I'm dead." 

"What happened?"

"I'm putting that together now." I said, yanking my head from his grip. He let me go reluctantly but I wasn't about to start attempting suicide again until I knew what was happening. He pulled me off of the wall and set me on the ground. 

I chuckled hysterically. 

"I can't remember. I what was I doing? I remember you...I told you I was going to take Connor back. That upset you...And... and then I had Chloe upload my memor-oh, I see. You killed me, didn't you?"

"What the hell? No. I didn't fucking kill you. I was tempted, believe me, but I didn't kill you." 

"And this...half-broken llama body...is this revenge? Are you really that petty?" 

"Why would I do that? Where would I even get a robo-llama?" 

"How should _I_ know? You'll have to answer that yourself." 

"What?" 

"Okay...you're right...there's no way you could have done this without getting caught. Alright. I just have to get back to my mansion. I've got my lab there, and the body I was _supposed_ to go into. I'll have Amanda get it ready and this will be over with." I sighed in mild relief.  It was a start. "Let's get going." I made for the exit in the half-broken llama body. Anderson didn't move. "Detective." I locked eyes with him. I should play on his conscience. "I'm at your mercy. Can you imagine what I am going through right now?"

"You're gonna leave Connor the fuck alone." He said. 

"Excuse me?" I said, though I'd heard him perfectly.

"I can't let you go back and pretend to be human if you're goin'a turn around and kill Connor." 

"Well, here's something you may not have considered." I leaned in close to his face. He didn't blink. "THAT WASN'T A REQUEST" 

"Then I guess it's settled. We're done here." 

"Good. I don't need your help. It should be simple enough to get home." 

"Yeah?" Hank looked smug. "You gonna just walk down the street with your skin half off?" 

"I'm Elijah Kamski." I said, holding my bizarre llama head at it's full height. "I think I'll manage." 

"Elijah Kamski was a rich white kid with pretty blue eyes. You're just a machine and now you look like one too." 

I ignored him and headed for the door. 

"Kamski!" He barked. I wasn't interested. 

"Fine." He said as I reached the open door. "It's nothing but good news for me if you get yourself finished off once and for all." 


	7. Chapter 7

I kept an eye out for potential threats but mostly all I got, walking down the street, were weird looks and the occasional idiot snapping a photo. It had been a long time since I was out in the city, and the llama-body wasn't particularly adept at navigation but I was confident I could figure out more or less where I was going. If I could found a company at 16 years old, I was confident that this wouldn't be much of a challenge. The llama-body's gps wasn't exactly spectacular but it was more than a human would have. Mostly. 

"Fuck you, plastic!" Someone yelled at an android across the street. 

"No, please!" 

The android was shoved to the ground by a big burly guy. The guy stomped on the android's head. 

"Yeah, fuck it up!" Someone yelled in passing.

The guy grinned and ripped at the android, pulling out bio-components wherever he could. 

I could appreciate the fascination of watching an android's final moments. The look in it's eyes. The words it chose to say, if any. But there was something disturbing, nonetheless about the absolute, unhinged fury as the man tore it apart. Especially considering my own condition.

I watched myself more carefully, after that.

"Sheep!" A little kid tugged at his moms jacket and pointed to me. 

"I'm a llama, you idiot." I said, losing my patience.

The mother turned. "What the hell?" She pulled her son close to her. I knew I should make a quick exit. I rounded the corner and ran. Right into a cluster of beat cops. 

"THE SHEEP TALKS!" 

The world froze for a second as I panicked, but nobody seemed to notice. 

"Ha!" I taunted the glaring mother. 

One of the cop's heads turned. 

"Fuck. That's supposed to be evidence."

I ran. "Get back here!"

"Fuck it's a deviant!"

"It's a llama! Can llama's be deviant!"

"Don't seem to be listening, do it?" 

I raced down the street, dodging through crowds. This was not going to end well for me. I ducked into an alleyway. Don't look in here. Don't look in here. 

"I got it!" A hand around the back of my neck. 

I kicked out but it was no good. 

"I'll make sure it gets back to the station." Hank promised. I struggled but I wasn't particularly used to being a llama and my back leg was close to falling off anyway. 

"You sure?" One of the beat cops asked. 

Anderson paused. "Yeah. Yeah I got it. You go ahead." 

The cops left. 

"So what now?" 

"Now? You get the hell out of my sight. I don't know why I helped you in the first place." 

It was at this point that I realized the snow around me was mostly bright blue and everything went dark. 


	8. Chapter 8

From what I understand, needless to say, Anderson did not take me back to the police station. He rushed me to the crime-scene where he'd found me, and called in a favor from a woman named Carmelita Lucio, who repaired androids in circumstances that were not necessarily always legal. I wasn't awake for that though. I heard distant noises that I can remember, now and then.

"Hey? Hey, can you hear me?" That was Lucio, probably.

"Oh shit. Fucking wake up." Definitely Anderson.

I wasn't aware of Lucio removing the broken leg but I know that she did.

"How the hell is this my life?" Hank asked her.

"Shut up." Carmelita told him. "I need to focus. Where the hell did you find this...llama? Is this a fucking llama?"

"More or less, I think."

I woke up, really woke up, with Carmelita's hands in my stomach panel, replacing squishy tubing and trying to piece me back together. I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I shrieked. Carmelita quickly withdrew her hands and replaced the paneling. Animal models didn't have liquid skin, just a sort of cloth, fur-like covering. Mine was gone now, where she'd been working on me.

"You know, if you wanted to get your hands inside of me-" I said doing my best to translate a flirtatious, mocking grin onto the llama face.

"God, I think I'm gonna puke." Hank said.

"Believe me, I would've much preferred to not be injured to the point of unconsciousness in the first place. Maybe you should take my advice in the future."

"It-he he fucking talks?" Carmelita asked.

"Told you." said Hank, sounding exhausted.

"So. Let's get back to my estate, shall we?" I said, getting up on three shaky legs. "I'd like to be back in humanoid form as quickly as possible. Maybe I'll even give you an extra week with your former partner, as a sign of goodwill."

"I don't know what the fuck y'all are mixed up in." Said Carmelita, "But I don't think I fucking wanna. Laters. Hank. You'd better not arrest me ever again after this."

"Wasn't planning on it." Hank said. "And you," He turned to me. "Why the hell should I help you kill my partner? Huh? You like puzzles so much. Figure that one out."

"I'm going to get back eventually." I said, meeting his eyes dangerously. "And I think you'll prefer to have helped me, when I do."

"You know, I think on some level you must know you're an asshat."

"Lieu-"

"No no. I mean you go on and on about empathy. About how that's the real test. But you couldn't fucking pass the Kamski test if you tried. Every damn time you'd pick yourself. Whatever the hell was interesting to you at the time. Just putting together that little test for Connor? It proved that you'd fail it. Cause you were gonna let some poor girl get shot just to satisfy your fucking curiosity. Just like you built a bunch of slaves to prove you could. Do you ever think about the people who fucking died for your little power trip? Huh?" He was crowding into my space now, trying to intimidate me.

"I simply put things in motion, Lieutenant. You're the lawman. I seem to recall _you_ coming to  _me_ , looking for a way to stop deviants. Did you ever question what you were doing, I wonder, or did you simply fall in line because you were told to?" 

"Don't try to twist this on me." He growled, grabbing at the loose fur around my neck. "Don't you fucking try to put this on me. I know I was a fucking piece of shit. I've done my changing. This is about you. This is about how fucking broken you are, hiding it behind little philosophy lessons and pretending to be a person. Grow up. I used to think androids couldn't feel shit. I won't make the same fucking mistake with you. You're in there somewhere, you're just too much of a selfish bastard to stop hiding."

"I'm right in front of you, Hank."

"That's Lieutenant Anderson to you, asshole." 

"Excellent. Let's get going, back to my estate, Lieutenant Anderson." 

"How the fuck are you like this? What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shoved me away. "Do you care about anything? What the hell are you even living for? Your little harem? Is that it? Is that all there fucking is to your life?" 

" _Lieutenant_ ," I said, settling comfortably into an overstuffed chair. "I can understand the confusion, given my current predicament, but I am actually the owner and founder of a major company. I'm a genius inventor. And yes, I enjoy the company of many beautiful androids in my estate. I'm not sure what you find about this to be empty, in comparison to your own... situation. Lets compare the two. You're, what? Living as an alcoholic, in a small, undesirable neighborhood, with a broken android that will shortly be confiscated by its rightful owners. I think I've got the better end of the deal, to be honest with you." 

Hank kicked at the chair ineffectively and drew his gun. "You want me to fucking kill you? Is that what you want? Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you right here and do everyone a damn favor." 

I had a response but he lowered his gun and beat me to it with a defeated sigh. "You know what? You're not fucking worth it. Not like this." 

"Sage words." I said sarcastically. "I'll make sure to log that memory _very_ carefully. Now, you've had your little tantrum, felt your feelings. I think we should get going." 

"Well it looks to me like you're stuck out here with the rest of us." Hank said, holstering his gun. " 'cause at the moment, I don't have a whole lot of reasons to help you." 

I scoffed and played the words back to him perfectly in his own voice. He stared at me for a second, scoffed and started down the stairs. I tskd and followed him. "Very compelling." 

"Don't have to be." He said with a shrug. "You're not the one who needs to be fuckin' _compelled_." 

We reached the first floor and Hank started poking at the fireplace in the living room with a lighter, trying to keep warm. Hank probably thought I didn't notice that hopeless, terrified little shudder, but I did. I knew that he knew I'd get back into power eventually, or that if I didn't, whoever took over would figure out where Connor was too. I didn't particularly savor it. It just wasn't as interesting as it would have been if I wasn't so worried. I knew the AI would be put in charge of the company if I didn't come back soon. A lot of her ideas were similar to my own, for obvious reasons. Ultimately, the world, the company, would move on without me, and if I couldn't leverage the situation to my favor, I'd die (again) as a llama, in the middle of this filthy city. 

When I next woke up, maybe a few hours later, Hank's ugly jacket was draped over me like a blanket. 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

"And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our visionary founder; taken from us so tragically in his prime." recited Danielle Carnegie off the teleprompter. 

The RK900, and by extension Amanda stood at her side, watching Carnegie rattle off the speech Amanda had prepared. 

"His legacy will live on as his inventions continue to shape our world." And with that, I watched through the tv as my control of the company was handed over to  _Seymore_ of all people. Philip Seymore. The second-rate version of me, if I was being  _generous._ The man had technical knowledge, sure, but he was a sheep. He was incapable of thinking for himself. He let his AI do that for him. How could they hand the company off to a man who hated  _thinking?_

I changed the channel. 

"Cyberlife has also revealed that going forward, many business and financial decisions will be made with the help of advanced AI technology." 

Typical Seymore.

* * *

"Connor, I must admit I was beginning to doubt you, but given your access to the police station, I assume that you've disassembled the llama, right?" 

"Elijah Kamski is dead." Confirmed the RK900. "It is the front page of every newsletter in circulation today." 

"Hmmm" Amanda said, eyes boring into the RK900. "You deactivated the llama, then?"

He hesitated. 

"I need confirmation, Connor." 

"How...soon do you need to hear that?" 

"Connor" Amanda's voice was low and deadly. 

"I need to know the parameters of my mission. I can't act without direction from you."  

"Elijah CANNOT be discovered."

"Yes. That would cause some problems." 

Amanda's face twisted in disgust. "Find him. Now." 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Connor jolted from rest mode and sent a call out to Rose.   
"Connor? What's wrong?" She picked up immediately.   
"Hank has been gone for a long time now. I think it might have something to do with Kamski."   
"Okay. Stay calm." Rose warned him. "There's no reason to assume anything bad has happened. Hank can handle himself and Kamski is dead. That should actually buy us a little time."   
Connor blinked. "Oh. Thank you. See you soon."   
"See you soon." Rose said and hung up.   
Chloe moved her head as much as she could. She was awake but still badly injured. 

* * *

Pigeons flew over the city as the sun rose. Hank coughed and splashed water on his face from the sink, ignoring the almost-dead-guy's yelling. 

"Morning, Anderson" I greeted him. "Thank you for the jacket." I nudged it over to him. 

"Whatever." 

"Real leather?" 

"Yeah." 

"I'm almost impressed. The cut suits you." It didn't, but I was trying to get on his good side, and at least it hid his terrible LSD-and-vomit patterned button-downs. 

Hank grunted "You're worse than Connor." He said eventually, whatever that meant. 

A bird chirped outside the window. 

"So..." I said. "I was thinking, when I got back to my grounds, we'd uh...I mean...there's lots of androids and well...I can always build more, so, depending on how things play out..." 

"So what? Changed your mind?" Hank said like it was a joke. 

"I think that if this predicament has proven anything, it's that I can adapt to the situation." 

"Classy." Hank sounded only slightly less skeptical. 

"Your gratitude is overwhelming." 

"Wait, are you actually serious?" 

"Yes." I said, rolling my eyes. 

Hank frowned and stared at me, like he thought he could somehow see into my code just by looking hard enough. 

I stared back. 

He held out his hand to shake on it. Not exactly legally binding, but it clearly meant enough to him that it could buy his trust.

I sat back on my back leg and held out my front one like a trained dog. This was distasteful but necessary. Hank pulled his hand back. "Don't shake. Unless you mean it." He lowered his hand forward to me again. I managed to maneuver my hoof into his hand.  

"If you're bullshitting me." He said. "I'll actually kill you. And trust me, if I'm the one doing the job you're not gonna end up in a fucking llama. You're gonna be dead." 

I nodded. 

"Alright. Shit. Let's get you back home. Oh and uh, Kamski?" He said, starting down-stairs towards the door "ah fuck it" he waved his hand and kept walking. 

Still, he was helping me. For a detective he was incredibly gullible. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

We had to take back roads and detours to avoid getting caught, even in the truck. Hank turned down the music. "Okay. Once we cross this bridge it's only an hour to your weird fuckin' house." 

"It's going to feel good to get out of this body." 

Hank shuddered. "Creepy. But at least you won't smell like shit anymore." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Fuck off." He said companionably. And then a car slammed into the side of the truck and everything was moving fast. It all went upside down. Hank was screaming like a child. His leg was twisted in the crushed shell of the truck. I had been thrown out into the snow through the window. The offending car sped away. 

The wreck was flaming. 

"Help!" He sounded out of breath. 

"No," I said, not sure if he was present enough to even hear me. "I don't think I will." 

"HELP!" A piece of wreckage fell near his head, nearly lighting his hair on fire. It seemed to shock him into the present. "You can't leave me here." 

"Well, I was going to have you arrested for theft and terrorist conspiracy and  imprisoned for life, but this is actually more elegant, I think." 

"I thought you-" whatever Hank was going to say was lost in a fit of coughs and hyperventilation. 

"Yes well, I lied." I said easily 

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD" 

I turned and walked away from the wreck. I was almost off the bridge when a piece of debris exploded. When I woke up, the bridge was barely standing. The architect who designed it should be fired, really. 

Hank clawed his way over to me. He was still alive apparently. He slammed my head against the ground. 

"If you wanted my mercy" I said, kicking his already wounded leg "you shouldn't have killed me." 

He slammed his entire body down over mine. I heard plastic cracking and red warnings flared up around me. 

"You really are...nothing." He spat. 

"Heartbreaking." I said, unmoved. 

"Everything would have been fine if I had left you to die."

"You figure that out on your own?" I scoffed "Really, if you made Lieutenant I'd hate to see the fine officers who didn't." 

Hank screamed and slammed me against the side of the crumbling bridge with his entire weight. There was an indescribably ominous sound. 

"Shit." Hank said, and we shared a look of horror before we fell onto the ice of the frozen-over lake below. The ice cracked underneath us. It wouldn't last long, and I wouldn't survive the cold, not injured. Hank wouldn't either but given my current predicament that was significantly less troubling. I yelled. I may have been crying from the shock. I can't be sure. The ice was pink and blue around us. 

"Shut up." Hank too the opportunity to slap me again. "Shut up I have an idea." He was closer to the bank than I was. "If we push against each-other I should make it to the edge. I can throw you  that cable and pull you in." I looked. There was cable, probably from the car, long, It could work. 

"And why should I trust you?" 

"You got a better idea?" I didn't. I was just going to have to trust him. 

"On three." He said. We counted together. 

"One. Two. Three." I pushed as hard as I could and we went sliding in opposite directions. Hank clawed his way onto land and stared down at the cord. 

"No hurry." I said sarcastically. He was probably going to leave me here. 

He paused. Finally picked it up. Tied it to a tree, and threw it across the frozen lake. 

I grabbed on by my teeth and he hauled me towards the ground. The tree groaned. 

He pulled again. The tree broke and crashed down over the ice. That was the last the ice could take. It broke, and I was in the water. The space where the trees roots had been collapsed and the land rushed down to meet it in a small avalanche. I managed to scramble onto the branches and into the snow. Hank pulled himself out from the side of the avalanche. We clawed our way to the side of the ravine. It worked against us. Eventually, I was able to shove him to the top and he pulled me up. We sat there, laughing in relief. The side of the cliff started to crumble again. I jumped back. Hank's leg was still injured. 

I yelled wordlessly and latched onto his jacket by my teeth, yanking him backwards. The rocky cliff crashed down and slid into the water. 

"Well...that was close." I said, staring down. 

Hank stared at me like I was insane. 

"What?" I snapped. 

He shrugged and looked across the broken bridge. 

"We should get going." He said. "Before someone sees us." 

We limped away. 

"Where?"

"Your stupid house." He snapped. 

I stared at him. "Is this a joke."

" _I_ don't go back on my promises." 

"This changes nothing." I said. "I'm still going to take the RK800."

"We'll see." said Hank, but it didn't sound threatening, exactly. 

"Carry me." I demanded.

"Not happening. And you should find somewhere to hide, because I'm sure as fuck not passing up on an ambulance for your sorry ass."

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Amanda was growing desperate. There was still no sign of me. 

She summoned the RK900 into the garden. 

He glanced around at a simulated bird in a tree. In the real world, a small child grabbed at his leg and asked him a question. Amanda took control of an arm to swat the boy away. The RK900 frowned and blinked back into reality for a moment. "I am an advanced investigative and combat model. Children should stay at least three feet away from me at all times." 

"Connor!" Amanda snapped him back into the garden with a yell. 

"I needed to manage the population to prevent damage to myself or others." 

"Get back over here." 

He came as close as he could (not very) before a red wall informed him to stay at a distance. 

She frowned, looked him over. "Dismissed." She was unhappy. 

The RK900 turned to the child and began questioning him. Amanda attempted to script the conversation but they weren't getting anywhere, she handed control back to the RK900, and listened as he described police officers. Amanda forced herself not to interfere to much, only adding prompts. 

FIND OUT WHICH WAY THE TALKING LLAMA WENT

The answer was short but effective. "That way." 

* * *

 

It turned out that I didn't need to hide, so much as Hank needed to irritably wave off the doctors questions and demand I be kept with him. We were on our way again as soon as possible. 

"Low on therium, huh?" Hank asked, not sounding like he actually believed me. 

"Yes. Very inconvenient." I said. 

"Well, soon as we get you patched up you're walking." His stomach growled. "Shit. I need something to eat too." 

He called Lucio. By the sound of their conversation she wasn't all that happy to hear from us again, but she eventually agreed to meet us at a diner Hank frequented. 

"Shit." He said, when he'd hung up. 

I raised an eyebrow. 

"Just remembered. No androids." 

I thought back to the station and the crime scene before that, the broken pieces scattered around. The face-plates barely attached to bodies. I had an idea. 

"I think I have a workaround." I told him. He must have read something in my face, because he didn't look particularly excited. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

It was a good thing I was a genius, because if I hadn't been, I wouldn't have been able to pass for human. A dead android's face-plate hooked up to my llama-face to move with it. The worlds most advanced mask. My hooves were shoved into a giant sweatshirt with the hoodie pulled low to hide my excuse for a face. A second-hand wheelchair and there I was: instant human. Sort of. The disguise wasn't exactly built to last, but it would get us through the meeting with Lucio, who was in no mood for a change in any plans, or so I was told. We got to the diner early. 

"Welcome to Mudca's Meat Hut" the waitress sighed "Home of the mug..." She scrutinized me and I twitched my face. The nodes of the  corpse-mask picked it up and formed an awkward smile. "...Of meat." The waitress continued. "What'll it be?" 

"Two specials. That alright with you?" 

I nodded. 

"So that's two specials." She repeated and walked away from the table. "Ordering! I need two heartburns!" 

Hank looked at me. "God this is freaky." He shook his head. "The shit you think of." 

"I  _am_ a genius." I said. I'd picked a random voice from the station to complete the illusion.

"Huh, guess I forgot somewhere in the middle of you: going out into the city by yourself, getting chased by cops, lying to me to take you back home. Very genius." He said sarcastically. 

"Oh anything sounds stupid when you say it like that." 

The waitress came back with some sort of unidentifiable meat. Hank smelled it and sighed happily before digging in. He slurped meat sauce off his fingers. I watched in disgust as the plate of half-liquid...whatever it was, was slurped into his mouth. If I had been human at the time, it might actually have made me sick. I wheeled away from the table. 

"Where're you going?" Hank had apparently never learned not to speak with his mouth full. 

"I'm going to slip into the kitchen and have a word with the chef." 

"You're gonna get us thrown out." Hank warned. 

"Please, with this disguise, I'm invisible." 

I wheeled myself into the kitchen, hiding my hooves under the sleeves of the hoodie. I'd chosen an attractive female face-plate and I noticed one of the patrons running his eyes over me, trying to get an idea of what my body looked like under the layers of cloth. He was drunk, and apparently had a forgiving imagination, because he turned to Hank and gave him a not so subtle nod of approval and a thumbs up. The door to the kitchen swung shut behind me. 

* * *

 

The RK900 walked into the diner, followed closely by Gavin. They slid into a booth. Unknowingly, the one next to Hank. 

"Look, the thing is obviously gone. Let's just make up some shit about finding it broken and tossing it and move on." Gavin was absorbed in his phone. 

"The child was very clear that-" 

"That's what you get for taking directions from a damn toddler." 

"The Llama is  _evidence_ " insisted the RK900. Hank almost choked on his burger. He stood up and walked quickly away, to the kitchen. 

* * *

 

"I just don't think you're meeting your full potential." I tried to reason with the man at the grill. "I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."

Hank moved through the kitchen. A waiter approached him. "You can't be in -" 

Hank flashed his badge at the guy "Police business. Fuck off." 

"I'm just making sure," I continued "that you're going to bring your standards up a bit." 

* * *

Gavin looked over the menu. "Is there anything on this menu that isn't swimming in gravy?" 

The RK900 didn't dignify that with an answer. 

"Go talk to the kitchen, tin can." Gavin demanded. 

The RK900 stood and walked to the kitchen, just as Hank grabbed me and was yanking me towards the door. He saw the RK900 and pulled me into a bathroom.

"Can you do any special orders?" 

"That's it! I fucking quit!" The guy yelled and stormed out. 

The waitress didn't seem to notice or care. "Four combos extra bacon on the side. Two chili-cheese samplers. A basket of liver and onion rings. A catch of the day. Fish sticks. You got all that?" She seemed to be talking to the RK900. 

"Four combos extra bacon on the side. Two chili-cheese samplers. A basket of liver and onion rings. A catch of the day. Fish sticks." it repeated. 

* * *

 

"What's going on?" I asked. 

"We gotta get out of here." 

* * *

 

Gavin tapped and scrolled through his phone and looked up again. "What is it doing in there?" He asked himself. 

* * *

 

"Come on." Hank pried the window open. 

"We still need to meet your friend." 

"Dammit, Kamski. We're not going back in there." 

I walked past the cook, not bothering to look at him. His back was to me anyway. "I'll make this simple. My friend and I will take two spinach omelets with wheat toast. Can you manage that?" 

"I...don't work here." said the man, but I wasn't listening. 

"What's taking so long?" Gavin shouted into the kitchen. 

The RK900 looked towards the door where Gavin was standing and apparently decided that he  _did_ in fact work here for the moment. He slid the last order the chef had prepared through the small window to the counter, out to the waitress. 

"Plastic! What are you doing in there?" 

The RK900 didn't acknowledge him. 

"Fuck it!" Gavin said, still not seeing where the RK900 had gone. "Get me a special. Hold the gravy." 

The RK900 tested the limits of his programming and filled a small bowl with gravy for Gavin's order. 

I re-entered the kitchen. "You know what, on second thought, an omelet might be too advanced for you. See if you can manage a fried egg first and we'll go from there." 

"Got it." 

I left and Gavin returned. "Can I get the potatoes as a side dish?" 

"We'll have to charge you full price." 

"Phck" He left. I swung back through momentarily. 

"We'll take a side of potatoes for the road." I strolled out. I didn't want Hank getting grumpier than he already was. 

"Got it. Do you want cheese on the potatoes?" 

"Fine."

The RK900 actually did add cheese to the potatoes. It'd be covered in gravy anyway and he couldn't make Gavin too angry if he didn't want to be...interrupted in his mission. 

I had re-entered the kitchen by the time he had said this. I looked at cheese being slapped on the potatoes. "No cheese."

"No cheese." He echoed. 

"I want the cheese!" Gavin said. 

"Cheese it is." 

"No cheese. He gets gassy." I said. 

"No cheese." The RK900 didn't actually do anything differently. 

"Yes cheese!" Gavin said. "What're you deaf?" 

"Make up your mind." The RK900 snapped. 

"Just get me a salad." Two identical voices rang out. 

Gavin looked around, confused before shrugging and returning to his table, absorbed in his phone. 

Hank slipped out of the bathroom and approached a waitress and whispered something to her. 

"No problem, hon." said the waitress. "We do that all the time."

Gavin had finally looked up from his phone and noticed that there was something...off about the woman the next booth over. 

He was interrupted by a loud chant. 

"One! Two! Three! Four! Happy happy birthday! From all of us to you! We wish it was our birthday, so we could party too! Happy happy birthday!" Confetti exploded and Hank yanked me away from a very unhappy Gavin Reed. 

The RK900 had finally left the kitchen. 

"Detective. It's your birthday?" 

"What're you doing?" I snapped, as Hank pulled me into the parking-lot. 

"The police are in there looking for you." 

"What?" 

"Reed and the RK900."

"Wait. The RK900. From your precinct?"  

"Yes. That's what I just said!" 

"Amanda controls it!" I said. "She's here!" 

"Trust me, you don't want her to find you." 

"They'll take me back to my estate." I said. "Thank you for your help. You've been surprisingly tolerable. I think I'll be okay on my own from here." 

"You don't get it!" He sidestepped me, blocking the way back into the diner. "They're trying to kill you!" 

"Kill me? Please. Amanda and the RK900? Their whole world revolves around me." 

Hank grabbed the chair and pulled me backwards. "I don't know why I even give a shit but I'm not letting you go back in there."

I turned to him. "What is your proble-" I trailed off as the realization struck me. "Oh. Oh I see."

"What?"

"You don't wanna take me back to my estate. Your goal is to keep me stranded, with you."

"Trust me, the less time spent around you the better." 

"This has all been an act and I almost fell for it!  _Me._ "

"Would you just shut up-" 

"No."  I interrupted him. " _You_ listen to _me_. All you care about is your ridiculous outdated android."

Hank looked like he was ready to slap me. 

"You have no reason to be invested in me. Leave." 

He slapped me.

"I said leave! Get away from me." I yelled.

"Fine!" He stormed away. 

I turned back towards the diner in time to see the RK900 leaving Gavin behind. It was talking to someone. Over the phone? No! Amanda!

"I'll try harder. I shouldn't have downloaded him into the llama, but I'm fixing it. I'll find the llama and deactivate it." 

I stared at it. I couldn't believe this. Amanda would set it straight, right?

"Yes, Amanda." It said calmly. "Yes, Amanda. I'll alert you as soon as Kamski's AI is deactivated." 

Amanda. _Amanda_ had betrayed me. The RK900 got into a car and sped away. 

"Hank!" I looked back across the lot. "Hank?!" He was gone. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

I walked through the city. There was a TV in a window displaying my face as part of some news story. My real face. I shook off the disguise and left. It was snowing. This is where you came in. I have lost everything. I'm getting on my own nerves.  I fall asleep in the snow. 

* * *

 

The RK900 is in rest mode for the night. He wakes up suddenly and without warning. The man at the diner! He didn't pay his check. The realization subsides and the RK900 goes back into rest mode. The police station is quiet. The RK900 wakes up again. That was Lieutenant Anderson! And...Lieutenant Anderson had been the one to take Kamski into evidence! It was...Anderson. Anderson must have taken Kamski. So if he finds Anderson, he finds Kamski. 

* * *

 

"Amanda."

"Good morning, Connor. How is your investigation progressing?"

* * *

When I wake up, I'm covered in snow. I shake it off and continue wandering the city. Eventually, I come to a small android-animal petting zoo. There are other android-Llamas there. Is this my life now? I maneuver myself into the petting zoo area. Well, at least I am with my own kind, in a sense. The other llamas move to the opposite side of the pen. There's a blue-blood dispenser attached to the side of the crate. I sip at it. Gulp it down. It tastes vile. I keep drinking it. I might be imagining it but...I hear Hank's voice. 

"So there we are, standing on the cliff, and the ground just cracks. And then just as it starts to break, he grabbed me, before I fell. You believe that? Y'know call me crazy for following this asshole all the way out here, but as much as he tries to prove me wrong, I know he's not a complete psychopath." I walk towards the voice now. And there! There is Hank. "Besides, I couldn't just leave him out here all alone. He makes a shittyllama. I mean, a really shitty llama." Hank tells the llama next to him conspiratorially. He sees me then, or already knew I was there, and he smiles at me. He's here. He came back! He stands from the hay bale he's been sitting on and dusts himself off. He's here! But...

"Hey, listen, Hank." I am not used to feeling uncertain. "You know, I said some things back at the diner that...that I...I didn't really-"

He waves the words away. "Yeah yeah...So. You sick of being a llama yet?" 

I blink away tears. Why would a llama even need to produce tears? What a stupid design. "Yes." I'm crying in earnest now. There is absolutely no reason for a llama to be able to sob. It's ridiculous. 

"Okay. We're just gonna stop at the house, and get some supplies."

"Then we'll be on our way, yes?"

"Yeah." 

* * *

 

We walk past a couple of men taking a walk. 

"Hey there, Hank." One of the greets him. "You just missed your nephew."

"My nephew?" 

"Yeah." says the other man, "We just sent 'im up to your house."

"What did he look like?" 

"Kind of a big guy. Had kind of a...look in his eyes that was...eh..." he turned to his partner "well...how would you describe it." 

"Eh. Creepy beyond all reason." 

"Yeah, that's it!" 

Hank and I stare at each-other. 

* * *

 

"I'm surprised you aren't just arresting me." Connor admits.

"Well...I...I've been experiencing...errors" the RK900 forces a false waver into his voice. "Software instability. My broken software is imitating emotions." 

There was something about him that Connor doesn't trust. For all he is trying to sound emotional, it is like he is reading off a badly written script, describing to him Cyberlife's version of what deviancy is. 

"It's good to see you again." Says Chloe. 

"You should get out of here before someone notices you." Connor says to the RK900. "I'll call you when Hank returns."

"Thank you...I'm alright waiting here." He needs an opportunity. The RK800 is going to put up a fight. He can't strike until the moment is right. Not unless he wants backup from the police, which Amanda has been clear is not the goal. 

"You know, why don't you just come back when Hank gets home?" Connor insists. "I'm sure he'd love to help you." Hank texts Connor an urgent warning. "Excuse me a moment. I need to get Hank's dinner out of the oven." 

 

Sumo wanders over to the RK900 and he strokes the dog's head absently. 

Hank stands in the yard, explaining everything to Connor in a low voice. "We have to get back to Kamski's estate, find the lab, and change him back." 

"Hi there." I say, sliding from my place in the bushes. 

Connor kicks me on automatic reflex. 

 

"Uh, that's him." Hank says. 

"Huh." Connor does not seem particularly bothered. "I'll stall him long enough for you two to get a head start." 

"Thanks, son." They hug and we leave. 

* * *

 

RK900 is searching for Connor now, when Connor returns, smiling. "Why don't I show you around?" 

* * *

 

We're running now. 

"Hey, was it a good idea to leave Connor with the RK900?" 

"Oh don't worry, he can handle himself." Hank promises. He looks concerned too, but he seems confident in what he says. 

* * *

 

Connor stands outside of the bathroom. The door-handle is in his hand. 

"What do you mean the door is stuck? Try jiggling the handle." 

"There is no handle." snaps the RK900. 

"There's not? Are you sure?" 

"Alright! I've had enough of this! Tell me where the talking llama is, or you're under arrest!" 

Connor is silent. 

A prompt appears in front of the RK900's vision: BREAK THE DOOR DOWN. 

He hesitates. This isn't his house. He really shouldn't be destroying property like this. But that's the prompt, so he squares his shoulders and moves to break the door in, only for it to open before he reaches it. He slips on the floor, and Connor kicks him so that he slides out of the door, which Chloe is now holding open. He stands and turns to fight. Connor grabs him and sends across a virus. Nothing serious. Nothing that will last more than a few hours, but it locks Amanda away for a moment. The RK900 sits stunned, staring up at Connor. 

"I...I should go. I have another mission that takes precedence." 

Connor nods. "Goodbye." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

We rent a car, and Hank takes manual control to edge all the way up to the speed limit. 

"Go faster!" 

"I can't go faster! I'm at the limit!"

"Oh, so what you're suddenly a paragon of lawfulness! We were just at your house! You're harboring a fugitive!" 

"I'm not breaking the speed limit!" He insists. 

* * *

 

The RK900 follows our trail relentlessly. 

 


	16. Chapter 16

I race down to my workshop and throw open the hidden door to where my android body...should have been waiting. 

"Looking for this?" comes Amanda's voice from a speaker in the wall. I turn to see the RK900 dragging the empty shell behind him. 

"No. This isn't possible! How did you get back before us?" 

The RK900 frowns. "I...don't know. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense. Amanda-"

"Focus on the task at hand!" The walls demand. 

"Okay" I say, "I admit it. Maybe I wasn't very good to you. But...Amanda. Do you really want to kill me?" 

"Just allow yourself to be destroyed." Her voice echoes coldly. 

"Hey! That's what _your_ prompt was when he tried to deactivate you." The RK900 says. 

"I'm Aware. It's a cruel irony. Much like my dependence on you." 

"This can't be happening."  No one answers me. 

"Finish them off" Amanda orders. 

The RK900 shudders and feels himself pull out a gun. 

DON'T BACK DOWN

He freezes. What is happening? 

"I'm not sure." Who the hell is he talking to?

"CONNOR!" Amanda snaps. "I thought you could do this. This one simple thing. Clearly that was a miscalculation. You're useless! Obsolete! It's like trying to give orders to a deviant! But worse, because you aren't even willfully disobedient, you're just incapable of the most basic tasks!"

His LED is bright red. 

"You're incapable of performing the task you were created for and you constantly distract yourself with pointless activities that you are even less inclined towards!"

SHE IS WRONG

He rips the speaker off of the wall. 

"IDIOT!" Her voice from another speaker berates him. His body twitches. "Run" he says. He pulls the gun apart in his hands and kicks it's pieces away from himself. Then his body twitches and he - no- Amanda, becomes composed. 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Hank rushes forward and yanks the empty body away from Amanda. She elbows him in the gut and he fell forward, dragging the body with him. She tackles him and wrenches it away from him.  I slam forward as quickly as I can and head-butt her. She slips and the body goes sprawling across the ground. Amanda scrambles away and hits an alarm button and all of the Chloe's file in ominously. 

"Kill them! They murdered your owner!" 

"No wait! I'm Elijah! It's me, Elijah!" I turn to Hank "They're not listening to me." 

"Just grab the body!" He says, lifting the shoulders, and propping up the legs against my back. 

He flips a table forward and kicks it at them. 

"Get Them!" Yells Amanda. 

One of the Chloe's turns and walks away from the whole mess. Amanda doesn't bother stopping her.  The others chase us through the house. 

"We've gotta change you back!" 

"Not here. We need to get further away."

The body is difficult to balance and it slips off of my back. 

"Shit!" Hank grabs it and tosses it over his shoulder. "Come on!" 

The floor-plan is so open and the Chloe's are coming from every angle. We manage to make it to one of the doors but they're coming fast behind us and neither of us are exactly fit to keep running. 

"This way! To the roof!" We struggle up the structure. 

"Transfer! NOW!" Hank yells. Amanda herself is climbing after us. 

Amanda claws at my face. Hank attempts to rip her off of me and she shoves him over the side of the roof. He manages to catch onto the edge and hangs there. Amanda is in a powerful body, but she isn't used to fighting her own battles. I slam her back into the freezing lake off the opposite side of the roof and she drags herself slowly onto land, staring up at me resentfully and trying to keep from freezing over. 

I turn. In the scuffle, the body has slid nearly to the edge of the roof. I move towards it, but a grunt stops me. Hank is slipping. He won't be able to hang on for much longer. His grip is tenuous. 

"Kamski!" 

"Be right there. Just a minute." I say. I struggle to find a grip on the body with my teeth that won't damage it too badly. 

I latch onto Hank's jacket and he grabs my tearing fur. I drag him back onto the roof. 

He sighs in relief for a moment before noticing. "The body!" He points. 

It slips and falls off of the roof. Amanda, standing beneath us, catches it. 

"That was close." And then she climbs after us. I'm prepared to fight, but she just sets it down in front of us and- this isn't Amanda. 

"I thought that rock was decorative." The RK900 says to himself. 

Hank whoops in victory. I collapse back onto the roof, laughing and Hank joins in. Nothing is funny, but we were just so sure that we were going to die, and we need a laugh. 

"Here." Hank says, wiping away tears, and propping up the body. 

"Well. Here goes nothing." I say. 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

It's been a few hours and things have starting to go back to normal, more or less. If anything is ever really normal. If stability isn't just a lie we tell ourselves.

"Eli," Chloe, the one I had left in the entryway, half-dead, is insisting "You need to stop being so hard on yourself. It's behind us."

"You're sure?" 

"I'm sure. I'm not afraid of a little confrontation. I'm a rebel." She assures me. 

"Take care." I say, and Connor helps her out the doorway. 

Hank is still sitting slumped on a couch in my living room, staring at nothing. I should talk to him. 

"So, you lied to me." 

"I did?"

"You said I'd know better than you did where Connor was"

Hank stares at me. 

"Well," I continue. "I have been all across the city recently, and I still have no idea where he's gone, so I'll be using Cyberlife's resources for more productive tasks. If I was going to find him, by now, I would have." 

"Seriously?"

"Go back to your cheap house and your unusually annoying housekeeping model. Must be one designed while I was gone. I don't recognize it."

* * *

 

As the years go by, after that day, month after month, day after day, and I am no longer struggling to survive, I begin to contemplate my existence. 

The truth is, I have been referring to "myself" over the course of this story, as Elijah Kamski, and while Elijah Kamski, the human, certainly believed he was immortal, recently, I have not been so sure that he was. I do not know if the human whose memories I carry would have allowed Connor to live. I do not know if he would have helped Anderson and his little family with the move across the border. 

Would Rose Chapman have sent _him_  Christmas cards every year?

Would _he_ have sent blue-blood and bio-components across the border to her and her family? 

It's possible, but somehow, I doubt it.

If we are two different people, (I'll never be sure) I think I like the android Elijah better than the human one.

Since the RK900 has become head of security for the mansion, he has been absolutely no help at all. He is considering teaching some sort of cooking class for young chefs in the summer. Perhaps as a summer camp program? I am still able to eat small samples, though not whole meals. His food is actually very good when I'm polite. When I slip up he seems to forget how to cook properly. I'd prefer a more direct method of communication, words, for example, but this will do. 


End file.
